I read this wonderful article in HT on Friday 10th July 10, 2009, titled “Mama’s Ploys” which enlightened me as to what boys all over this country are like. The sense I got of the women who think like this is that they haven’t grown up from their teenage years; either that or they still revel in the need of feeling like the eternal “bahu”, even if they have become mothers or grandmothers. The hypocrisy of the situation is that when women air such views which derogate every male in this country they are called “open minded and progressive” women but when men air their views against such bigotry, they are called “male chauvinist _ _ _”
Now if I air my views I will surely be called “you know what”. Instead I will like to enlighten certain women (who might or might not be mothers) to what mothers actually think. I have been fortunate enough to have been invited to many homes of my friends where many aunties have been in conversation with me about lots of things. One aunty asked me once what I did if I felt hungry at the middle of the night when I was in hostel. I told her I made Maggi. Maggi takes two minutes to prepare and I guess a monkey can make it as well but she seemed impressed that I knew how to make Maggi. Oh my god! My mother taught me how to make it. What a wimp I’m. I should have known how to make Maggi before I came out of the womb. And by teaching me how to make Maggi my mother enslaved me with her “ploys”. She taught me how to cook not because so I can cook and eat when I live alone and not starve to death but because she wanted me to be smothered in her apron.
Mothers are mothers, whether they are mothers of boys or mothers of girls. They are and always will be critical of whoever we become acquainted with. If mothers of boys take a note of the girls he hangs around with, mothers of girls also keep watch over the guys she should be friends with. Now this is done not with malicious intent but with the intention of keeping them assured and secure from disruptive company.
Now if one talked about Cristiano Ronaldo and his mother, one would also like to talk about Nitish Katara and his mother. A woman who earned the respect of the whole society (a majority of which consisted of mothers), when she went against odds to fight for justice for her slain son.
If you talk about mothers’ so called ploys you disrespect every mother in this world including your own. You insult the love that she brings for her children whether they are boys or girls and her family.
When a successful woman credits her success to her mother she becomes acclaimed for it but if a successful man credits his success to his mother, immediately he is jibed at by saying here’s a mother’s boy. Should he credit his success to his girlfriend or his friends? Will then be seen as a progressive man? Or a man even? I find it laughable when some insecure wives and many soon to be wives become indignant when their spouse or soon to be spouse praise their mothers. If he feels that his mother cooks well why should you feel insecure about it? Why do such women feel the need that they have to rip their mother in laws memories from inside their husbands so that they have only space for them? If your mother in law, in a subtle matter, comes to you and whispers about what her son likes to eat, why should you become hostile towards her? Instead you can take it as an opportunity to make something for the man you have loved and married. Why do wives believe that in maybe two years of marriage her husband would have forgotten what the taste of his mother’s cooking was like, who had been cooking for him for the last twenty-twenty five years. The sentiment is all misunderstood here. It is never the question of the taste of his mother’s cooking but it is about the care and affection that a mother brings to the plate. And the same care and affection is also brought by the wife but with time.
“A challenge from any woman hoping that her partner will show some spine is immediately countered by biology”
So, to show spine a son has to quarrel with his mother is it? If this is the woman one marries I feel pity for the husband and their future family, as to what morals she will instill in her own son or daughter.
Now enough of boys and their mothers, are girls and their mothers so above board and pious? Do they not feel the same sort of attachment with their daughters? Do mothers of girls have a hands- off approach with their girls? Do they not care who their daughters go out with? Or what kinda man she brings home to marry? If a mother of a girl reproaches her for the boy friends she has, doesn’t the girl in one breath break off everything with such guys? If her boyfriend calls at night and her mother doesn’t like it doesn’t she scold her boyfriend for that?
A husband, believe it or not, does live in the shadow of his wife’s father. For a girl her father is the ultimate hero, and that irritates the hell out of a husband. But what does he do? He might joke about it but in the end he tries to be a bit like her father so that he can become her hero as well. So should wives take with such antagonism that her husband respects his own mother?
The basic problem with such women is in midst of their own fears and insecurities and inferiority complexes they are unable to distinguish between a man’s love and respect for his mother and their own incorrect notion of that man’s so called “cowardice” (a cowardice which will turn into bravery if the guy brazenly declares he knows more of the world than his mother)
A woman, a mother is the first teacher of a child, irrespective of whether the child is a boy or a girl. A mother therefore is the key to all wisdom and so I shudder to think that if these women ever become mothers what wisdom are they gonna impart? It is my mother who has taught me to be respectful towards women, my friends who are girls and eventually my wife so before pointing fingers at mothers these women should figure it out that four other fingers are pointing towards them.
If anybody has a problem that a man is his mother’s boy or a woman is her mother’s girl please speak up so that we all can know whose child are you? Your mother’s or your neighbor’s? The world has the right to know of such anomalies. My sympathies are with them.
That article I read was one of the worst and most derogatory ones that have been written in the recent past. Insulting us guys is one thing but insulting our mothers is a whole other ball game coz in doing so you insulted every mother in this world. I am still utterly confused as to how women are insulting women in this article and somehow in their twisted minds and ways hold men responsible for it.
Boys I would like you to step up and stand for your mother’s honor in whatever way is possible for you and girls even though you are not being persecuted in this article, but your mother is and someday when you become mothers (obviously because us guys cannot become mothers) such articles will be spewing abhorrence towards you.
Now if I air my views I will surely be called “you know what”. Instead I will like to enlighten certain women (who might or might not be mothers) to what mothers actually think. I have been fortunate enough to have been invited to many homes of my friends where many aunties have been in conversation with me about lots of things. One aunty asked me once what I did if I felt hungry at the middle of the night when I was in hostel. I told her I made Maggi. Maggi takes two minutes to prepare and I guess a monkey can make it as well but she seemed impressed that I knew how to make Maggi. Oh my god! My mother taught me how to make it. What a wimp I’m. I should have known how to make Maggi before I came out of the womb. And by teaching me how to make Maggi my mother enslaved me with her “ploys”. She taught me how to cook not because so I can cook and eat when I live alone and not starve to death but because she wanted me to be smothered in her apron.
Mothers are mothers, whether they are mothers of boys or mothers of girls. They are and always will be critical of whoever we become acquainted with. If mothers of boys take a note of the girls he hangs around with, mothers of girls also keep watch over the guys she should be friends with. Now this is done not with malicious intent but with the intention of keeping them assured and secure from disruptive company.
Now if one talked about Cristiano Ronaldo and his mother, one would also like to talk about Nitish Katara and his mother. A woman who earned the respect of the whole society (a majority of which consisted of mothers), when she went against odds to fight for justice for her slain son.
If you talk about mothers’ so called ploys you disrespect every mother in this world including your own. You insult the love that she brings for her children whether they are boys or girls and her family.
When a successful woman credits her success to her mother she becomes acclaimed for it but if a successful man credits his success to his mother, immediately he is jibed at by saying here’s a mother’s boy. Should he credit his success to his girlfriend or his friends? Will then be seen as a progressive man? Or a man even? I find it laughable when some insecure wives and many soon to be wives become indignant when their spouse or soon to be spouse praise their mothers. If he feels that his mother cooks well why should you feel insecure about it? Why do such women feel the need that they have to rip their mother in laws memories from inside their husbands so that they have only space for them? If your mother in law, in a subtle matter, comes to you and whispers about what her son likes to eat, why should you become hostile towards her? Instead you can take it as an opportunity to make something for the man you have loved and married. Why do wives believe that in maybe two years of marriage her husband would have forgotten what the taste of his mother’s cooking was like, who had been cooking for him for the last twenty-twenty five years. The sentiment is all misunderstood here. It is never the question of the taste of his mother’s cooking but it is about the care and affection that a mother brings to the plate. And the same care and affection is also brought by the wife but with time.
“A challenge from any woman hoping that her partner will show some spine is immediately countered by biology”
So, to show spine a son has to quarrel with his mother is it? If this is the woman one marries I feel pity for the husband and their future family, as to what morals she will instill in her own son or daughter.
Now enough of boys and their mothers, are girls and their mothers so above board and pious? Do they not feel the same sort of attachment with their daughters? Do mothers of girls have a hands- off approach with their girls? Do they not care who their daughters go out with? Or what kinda man she brings home to marry? If a mother of a girl reproaches her for the boy friends she has, doesn’t the girl in one breath break off everything with such guys? If her boyfriend calls at night and her mother doesn’t like it doesn’t she scold her boyfriend for that?
A husband, believe it or not, does live in the shadow of his wife’s father. For a girl her father is the ultimate hero, and that irritates the hell out of a husband. But what does he do? He might joke about it but in the end he tries to be a bit like her father so that he can become her hero as well. So should wives take with such antagonism that her husband respects his own mother?
The basic problem with such women is in midst of their own fears and insecurities and inferiority complexes they are unable to distinguish between a man’s love and respect for his mother and their own incorrect notion of that man’s so called “cowardice” (a cowardice which will turn into bravery if the guy brazenly declares he knows more of the world than his mother)
A woman, a mother is the first teacher of a child, irrespective of whether the child is a boy or a girl. A mother therefore is the key to all wisdom and so I shudder to think that if these women ever become mothers what wisdom are they gonna impart? It is my mother who has taught me to be respectful towards women, my friends who are girls and eventually my wife so before pointing fingers at mothers these women should figure it out that four other fingers are pointing towards them.
If anybody has a problem that a man is his mother’s boy or a woman is her mother’s girl please speak up so that we all can know whose child are you? Your mother’s or your neighbor’s? The world has the right to know of such anomalies. My sympathies are with them.
That article I read was one of the worst and most derogatory ones that have been written in the recent past. Insulting us guys is one thing but insulting our mothers is a whole other ball game coz in doing so you insulted every mother in this world. I am still utterly confused as to how women are insulting women in this article and somehow in their twisted minds and ways hold men responsible for it.
Boys I would like you to step up and stand for your mother’s honor in whatever way is possible for you and girls even though you are not being persecuted in this article, but your mother is and someday when you become mothers (obviously because us guys cannot become mothers) such articles will be spewing abhorrence towards you.
